


With Child (Missing Scenes from Body Parts)

by fromGallifreytoGallitep (sykira)



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen, Medical Procedures, Medical Trauma, Missing Scene, tw: panic attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sykira/pseuds/fromGallifreytoGallitep
Summary: Posting this for dear tumblr friends, and before I lose my nerve! It's unfinished.  And TW: medical ick, especially obstetrical, also TW: threatened pregnancy, high risk pregnancy, surrogacy, anxiety attack
Relationships: Julian Bashir & Kira Nerys, Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Kira Nerys & Keiko O'Brien, Kira Nerys & Miles O'Brien
Comments: 84
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Canon-compliant fill-in scenes for ST:DS9 5 x 25 _Body Parts_ NOTE warnings in summary

Kira ran yet another diagnostic on the runabout’s systems, biting her lip and curling her fist on her thigh when she got the same answers as the last several dozen attempts: life support was stable, but after the accident nothing beyond impulse power was functioning, there wasn’t so much as a spark in the warp engines; it could take the better part of a day or more to limp back to the wormhole on impulse power alone.

Her jaw tensed when she heard footsteps from the rear of the runabout, and she stopped breathing when Dr. Bashir came into view. She opened her mouth, trying to form the words to ask about Keiko, about the baby, but her mouth was dry and her throat closed up.

He met her eyes and ran a hand through his hair. “They are both alive.”

He didn’t need to add “for now” – it was evident by the stricken look in his eyes.

“What about you, Major? Those bruises look pretty nasty.”

She nodded, flinching only slightly as he ran his tricorder over her. He slowed down his movements, and she felt his eyes watching her face.

He spoke softly. “Is the runabout okay if you come in the back with me, let me run some scans for concussion?”

“Yes. We aren’t going anywhere fast, but it’s stable, and we’re on course for the wormhole as quickly as I am able to get us there. We are clear of the asteroid debris at least, but I still can’t tell if the distress signal went through before we lost comms.”

Bashir nodded. His eyes shifted around the Volga’s cockpit, looking haunted. Kira followed his gaze as he looked back to Keiko, his expression solemn and his worried frown deepening.

“Julian? They really aren’t okay, are they?”

He took a careful breath before his eyes settled on her face, fixing her with a gaze that unnerved her. “No. And we can’t wait for assistance; we need to talk about that too.” His voice was gravelly. Something in Kira’s chest twisted with unease. 

He held a hand out to help her up. She was about to refuse his help, but then a wave of dizziness buffeted her as she got to her feet. She put a hand to her head. The asteroid had really knocked their little runabout hard.

There was a slight warmth oh her back as Julian moved closer, one hand hovering there in case she needed his help. His other hand was still outstretched and she slipped her fingers into his, grateful for a source of stability.

He didn’t let go as she took a few hesitant steps. “Okay?” he murmured.

“Just a headache.”

He stepped back when they came to the archway and gestured for her to go ahead of him into the aft area of the runabout.

Her steps faltered when she saw Keiko on the bio bed, surrounded by every re-purposed monitor the runabout had. Kira’s eyes traced the curve of Keiko’s stomach and she winced in fear for her friend and her unborn baby.

“Come,” Julian’s soft command broke her paralysis and she followed the guidance of his warm hand low on her back until she was sitting down on a stool. As always his touch was tentative, as if ready for her to pull away at any moment.

“This will help with that headache. I’ll definitely want to monitor you when we get back to the station though, you took quite a blow.”

She nodded, her eyes still on Keiko, barely noticing as he applied a hypospray. “Keiko?” she asked softly.

“Keiko’s unconscious, and in as close to stasis as I can safely put her for now.” He sat back and sighed, his brow furrowing deeper. “I’ll be honest with you, Nerys.”

She nodded firmly, unsure if there was a question in his voice or just the strain of the situation. She also didn’t miss the use of her given name.

He crouched down in front of her. She knew him well enough to know that wasn’t a good sign; Kira’s alarm was growing by the second. 

Voice low, he began, in full doctor mode now. “Okay – here’s the breakdown, and I apologize if this sounds clinical – but in a situation like this it’s the only way I can think clearly to keep the maximum number of people alive.”

 _If not everyone,_ Kira thought, but didn’t voice. She nodded again, her jaw set. She was familiar with having to make difficult decisions under duress with your friends’ lives on the line and she appreciated that Julian seemed to be taking that into account.

“Before I had to put her under, Keiko asked me to save the baby—even over her, if it came to a decision between the two—and I told her that if it came to that I would honor her request.” 

He swallowed, his eyes shifting. “But I already knew that decision was made. If I leave the baby in Keiko, well,” he scrubbed a hand over his jaw, “he _might_ survive until we make it back to the station, but only if she does, and that’s unlikely while she’s still carrying a child - the strain of the pregnancy combined with the blood loss and severity of her injuries is rapidly overwhelming her internal organs.”

He paused, and the stillness of the room felt suddenly overwhelming. Kira briefly closed her eyes against his words as another wave of dizziness threatened.

“She’s already in shock,” his soft voice continued, “the stasis field is makeshift at best. It will only delay the inevitable, and not long enough until we make it back to Deep Space Nine—I can’t do a full stasis on a pregnant person, it’s not safe.”

Kira had stopped breathing.

Julian continued, his eyes meeting hers. “However, with the child out of her, I’m almost positive I can stabilize her condition and she will make a full recovery.”

Kira’s chest was so tight it ached. “No…no, doctor, there has to be another way—what are you saying? The baby…”

He exhaled carefully. “There could be a way to save him. But I need your help and we don’t have much time.”

Adrenaline flooded her body and Kira jumped up. “Let’s get going then!”

Julian followed her up, but slowly. He extended an arm to her.

“Nerys.” His eyes never strayed from her face.

She sat down heavily, staring at her hand in his again, a squirming feeling growing inside her.

“The other way is to move the baby from Keiko to a surrogate uterus.”

Kira’s mouth opened to form an O but no words came out. The beat of her own heart drowned out everything else for a moment and it seemed like the room was moving in slow motion.

“It’s the only way…”

Breath rushed out of her as her brain caught up with the meaning of the doctor’s words going round and round in her head.

“Yes,” she whispered. Then again more assertively. “Yes. Yes of course.”

Julian was nodding. His hand moved over hers and he lowered his eyes. “You’ll have to carry the baby to term, five more months, then give birth.” His voice was still quiet, tentative. “There will risks to you, Nerys. And—”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Pausing, he pressed her hand with his. “Serious risks. Inter-species surrogacy is a largely untested field of medicine and under these emergency conditions without a full medical team and proper sick bay—”

“You said there wasn’t much time. There’s no question here, I’ll do it.”

He pressed his lips together and locked eyes with her, giving her time to balk, searching for any uncertainty there. Kira could see the moment he made up his mind.

“Okay. Then I’m going to start with a series of questions, then examine you, then prep your body. This is not going to be easy.”

She nodded, still frozen in place. His hand moved over hers and squeezed warmly. “I’ll make this as quick as possible, and put you under as soon as I can, all right?”

She tensed at that, her mind stuttering as she tried to find words. “Do you have to?”

He paused. “You’d rather be conscious?” 

“Can we just…see how it goes?” She pulled down the sleeve of her uniform jacket, digging her fingernails into the fabric. A baby. Inside her. Not even a Bajoran baby.

Julian was nodding slowly, his eyes glazing over for a moment as if already planning it out. Then he focused on her again, his gaze penetrating.

“I might be able to do local anesthetic, but even if I can control your pain it will still be very uncomfortable. Your uterus right now is tiny, and I will need to prepare it to receive a four month along fetus, along with amniotic sac and placenta. It’s going to be a very strange feeling, Major, and especially as you’ve never been pregnant before there’s a very real risk of uterine rupture.”

She swallowed, the thump of her heart drowning out her ability to process most of Julian’s reply. His frown was deepening though and he was reaching for his tricorder again so she took a shaky breath and managed a nod. _Pull yourself together Nerys, there’s no time for this._

He squeezed her hand again. “Good news is that transporter-facilitated surrogacy is a lot less rare than inter-species surrogacy, and I was top of my class at the academy at transporter-assisted surgery.”

She blinked. “You’re going to _beam_ the baby from Keiko into me?” A pain sharp enough to cause her to cry out lanced through her skull then and she pressed her fingers to her temple, momentarily forgetting the bruising there.

“Easy now.” His cool fingertips lifted her chin gently and he shone a light in her eyes. “I’m so sorry Nerys, I know your head still hurts – I couldn’t give you all the analgesics I would normally, given what’s going to happen.” He winced in apology when she looked at him, but continued. 

“You need to breathe, try not to panic, I know this is a lot to process…” He spoke so soothingly Nerys was tempted to sock him in the shoulder just to show him she wasn’t a complete basketcase and he didn’t need to talk to her like she was having a meltdown, but she suspected any sudden movements and she would be the one flat out on the floor, which wouldn’t exactly help her case.

She shook her head, trying to clear it. “Just tell me what you need me to do. Keiko and the baby—that’s what matters.”

He didn’t answer, just nodded and went to the replicator. Kira blinked.

Then he was at her side with a cold glass of water, and a gentle urge for her to take a seat. She didn’t even remember standing up, but her legs were locked and wouldn’t obey her commands.

He leaned in to press a the water into her unsteady hands. Nerveless fingers wrapped carefully around the glass grateful for it as she raised it to her lips. Ludicrously it felt like she hadn’t had water in a really long time.

Raising her eyes to his she said as lucidly as she could, “let’s get started.”


	2. Chapter 2

Julian squeezed her hand again. Then he turned to his a small table on which he had set up a series of hyposprays, busying himself with them, apparently giving her a moment to catch up with his medical explanation.

“Transporter-assisted?” she echoed, hoping to move him along. 

He nodded. Kira took a long draught of the blessedly cool water as he launched into further explanation.

“This won’t be the first transporter-facilitated surrogacy to save the child or mother’s life, but it is perhaps one of the first inter-species transfers—or the first _emergency_ inter-species transfer.” He went on in an absent tone almost as if he was talking to himself, his words coming a little too fast, making Kira wonder how much of his calm demeanor was just a front. 

“…and in other cases the species may have been chosen based on similarity rather than exigency. I have to admit I’ve read a few of such cases with interest in journal articles, but not recently, and obstetrics is not my specialty.”

He shook himself slightly and gave her a self-assured smile that was all it took to convince Kira he was less confident than he was letting on.

“Let’s get started, Major. I need your help to redesign this tiny makeshift sickbay so I have _two_ beds. Think we could repurpose one of the pilot seats?”

Kira looked around the runabout’s aft living quarters feeling dazed, but the sense of urgency driving at her like the too-fast heartbeat hammering inside her skull. “Yes. I can do that.” She stood up abruptly, blinking away the vertigo that was much better after the hypospray, and went to fetch a tool kit.

They worked diligently in companionable silence for a few minutes, the only background noise the hum and occasional low pitched beeping of the medical equipment surrounding Keiko.

Out of the corner of her eye Kira could see Julian flit between frantic-paced research on the computer, and producing all manner of indecipherable concoctions and instruments from the replicator. 

At one point he appeared at a her side with a number of hyposprays. Kira looked down, her fingers once again worrying the edge of her sleeve, holding still to allow him to touch each one in turn to her neck without complaint or question, even when they caused her stomach to churn or her body to flush. She blinked, slight dizziness coming over her.

“Okay?” His hand cupped her elbow, making sure she was steady. “It’s quite a lot of synthesized chemicals and hormones at once I’m afraid, but I want to do the best I can to make sure your body is ready for the baby.”

He regarded her closely. Her head was swimming but she did her best to ignore it. Truth be told, his familiar Julian-patter was doing wonders to normalize the situation and make her feel grounded again, even with the chemicals making her head swim.

“I’ll finish off the hyposprays when we’ve got you lying down,” he said quietly, his hand moving to her shoulder. She almost leaned into the warmth from it. 

“Still feeling light-headed?”

She nodded mutely. It was the strangest feeling, acquiescing to the same young doctor she had been giving a hard time to for so many years now.

Evidently he felt the same, his raised eyebrow expressing surprise she wasn’t arguing with him. When he seemed satisfied she wasn’t about to pass out, he brought her another glass of water from the replicator, giving her a speculative look. 

“Well, that was surreal. Have I ever in your life given you so much as a band aid without getting some sort of objection?” He smiled abashedly down at her.

Kira huffed a laugh, and raised her chin mutinously. “Don’t get used to it, Julian. Giving you a hard time is practically in my job description.” 

His eyebrows shot up at her words. “Well, that explains a lot.” His eyes twinkled as he looked over at her.

She held his gaze for a few seconds, enjoying his boyish grin before he turned back to his work, his fingers flying over the keyboard. 

But just a few moments later he turned to her and his face had a pensive cast to it, the childlike twinkle gone from his eyes. “I have some questions.”

“Shoot,” said Kira, starting to drag the newly detached pilot’s chair over beside where Keiko lay.

Dropping his PADD, Julian came over to help her. “You know you can’t lift anything heavy after the transfer right, not anything more than a raktajino for the first few weeks at least until your body adjusts, and after that, if all goes well, nothing stronger than Jake’s pet vole rat.”

“Jake has a—”

“Actually _not_ the vole rat, those things can bite.”

“Does Commander Sisko know Jake has—”

Julian set the chair in place with an exaggerated _oof,_ keeping enough distance so he could walk between the two beds _._ “Have you ever been pregnant?”

“You know the answer to that, no.”

His tone dropped lower, but he kept his eyes on the beds, judging the distance between them and fiddling with their angle. “Is there any chance at all you could be pregnant right now?”

She froze. “What? No!” It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to mind his own business but she realized with a start that all this and more now _was_ his business. She dived under the chair and started fiddling with the bolts.

He swallowed. “It’s just Shakaar came to visit not so long ago…”

 _And I’ve never asked you for birth control._ Kira closed her eyes, feeling heat stain her cheeks, and was glad she was out of Julian’s line of sight.

She started to speak and stopped a few times trying to find the right words. “Things with Shakaar have been …turbulent, I guess.” She absently rubbed her jaw where she had smashed against the bulkhead. “You can run a scan if you want to, but I’m sure I’m not pregnant.”

“Okay.” He hesitated. “Nerys, you know if there is ever anything you think I could help with…you know where to find me.” He said it softly, offering nothing further.

In the ensuing silence she could hear the sound of a fingernail tapping on a PADD. “Need some help down there?” There was that carefully controlled, deceptively light tone again. 

“No, I got it. Are you sure it’s safe to just beam an unborn baby around?”

“Well, they get transported all the time along with the mother…if it disrupted development we would know by now, and we’d have to take precautions each and every time we used transporter technology to make sure we didn’t transport a woman who didn’t even know she was pregnant yet.”

Kira supposed that made sense. She pressed her lips together then prompted him, “next question?” keeping her voice as emotionless as possible. He seemed hesitant now and they didn’t have time to waste.

“On your cycle, can you recall your last menstruation?”

“Oh, um…about 3 months ago, I think.”

“Okay, good, that’s good, that will help,” he murmured to himself, then paused. “Are you on birth control?” He kept his tone neutral.

She filled him in on the Bajoran methods for minimizing the frequency and fuss of a cycle as quickly and succinctly as she could. He listened quietly, without visibly reacting or giving her any of the expected lectures that while it might serve for convenience, it wasn’t the most reliable for preventing pregnancy. Nor did he issue any admonitions about the fact that she was just using the Bajoran herbs and tree roots that were traditional from the time of the occupation. He even held off from his usual refrain that with Starfleet medical stocking the station’s infirmary, pharmaceuticals were no longer in short supply.

She strictly kept all this kind of medical stuff between her and the Bajoran medical staff that worked at the infirmary and she had to admit she was a little impressed Julian had respected her wishes and given her such complete privacy, because it was clear he was hearing this for the first time. She supposed if the comms were functioning he could have just accessed her records from the station.

“Okay.” He finished typing then crouched down beside her just in time to help her tighten the bolts to the hastily constructed frame for the makeshift hospital bed.

“Do you know if your mother or close female relatives had problems with pregnancy?”

That one stumped her. “Problems?”

“Recurrent pregnancy losses? Bleeding during pregnancy? Difficult births?”

“I’m sorry Julian, I was about three when I lost my mother, I just have no idea. I know I had little brothers and there was no mention of any brothers or sisters who were miscarried or who died in childbirth.”

“Okay,” he said softly, giving her an encouraging smile.

He held out his hand to help her back up to her feet – she was about to protest but the meds he had given her were still making her feeling woozy, so she just slipped her hand into his and let him help. She supposed she would have to get used to that kind of thing soon enough now.

That thought made her feel strange, like she would just be faking pregnancy somehow. As if this wasn’t quite real, someone like her wouldn’t be actually pregnant, it had been the furthest thing from her mind. It made no sense and she shook it off.

Together they tested the new bed’s stability. Julian lay back on it first, wriggling around quite boisterously. Kira suppressed a smile—even in such a tense situation he just seemed faintly ridiculously young.

Then he winked at her and it warmed her even as she wondered just how much of his boyish charm was an act to try to put her at ease. 

“Can you try it?” he asked.

Imitating his casual air, she hopped into it and lay back as Julian adjusted the bed’s settings to make her almost completely horizontal.

“All right. Now we just need the blankets and anything else bulky from the runabout’s emergency supplies to build up the dip in the middle and construct some kind of sides to keep your body from moving around as much as possible.”

Kira sucked in a breath. Right. For surgery. She wasn’t ready to think about that part yet, but by the time she returned with the supplies they needed the doctor was already laying out a huge array of instruments and substances in sealed containers. Her eyes went round.

“Kira? Nerys? Hey,” he promptly gently, “look at me?”

She tore her eyes away from the equipment and followed his lead in arranging the blankets. 

“Doing okay?” That quiet voice again, so gentle she didn’t know what to do with herself.

She nodded briskly. “What’s next?” 

“I’m going to use the runabout’s sonic shower on the decon setting to get as close to surgical sterilization as I can, then I suggest you do the same while I suit up for surgery. Right before we start I’ll run the emergency medical sterile field – it’s the best we can do I’m afraid but I’ll have you and Keiko on prophylactic antibiotics for a few days just in case.”

She stared at him. “Right.”

“Just precautionary. I think we’ll be monitoring you so closely we’ll spot any signs of infection right away, so it’s not too big a worry.”

He tried for a reassuring smile again, and this time she managed to return it.


	3. Chapter 3

Kira stood frozen in place while Julian ran the sonic shower in the rear of the runabout. The sense of unreality crept over her again. This was happening so fast—as it needed to—she stared down at Keiko, and at the bump in her abdomen. Julian had checked on her frequently but the stasis held them both fairly steady he said. How long before that tiny human boy was in _her_ body? What if this didn’t work and her Bajoran womb couldn’t sustain him? Panic at that thought made her throat seize up and for just a second she couldn’t breathe.

What if the O’Briens hated her for taking him? That last was illogical but grief made people think and do strange things. 

She made up her mind there and then that she would do everything in her power to remind them that she knew this was _their_ baby, not hers, and that he was safe with her.

Julian rustled his way back into the room, making her jump. He paused in the doorway, looking at her in concern. “Shower’s all yours,” he offered.

She cleared her throat, trying to find her voice. “Right.” She took a step forward but Julian was draped from head to toe in some strange deep red plastic material that loosely resembled his surgical outfits from the infirmary, but this one held the deep creases of being folded in storage for probably years.

It was ridiculous but he just didn’t look like himself and he was right in the doorway.

“Oh, here.” He disappeared for a moment

Kira followed him into the back area to see him holding out a cling-wrapped red package – presumably _her_ outfit for surgery. She stopped herself from making a face and took it from him gingerly.

“If you need any help with it, let me know,” he said quietly. She looked up into his eyes, they were so full of kindness it was overwhelming.

She nodded quickly, waiting until he left the room before discarding her uniform. She didn’t allow herself to think too hard as she stripped off her bra and underwear too, in case that would help with sterilization. The chill on her exposed skin was only partly to do with her sudden nakedness. The shower didn’t help, but she was as thorough as she could be in that tiny space. Nothing on a Runabout was made for comfort.

Julian looked up when she emerged awkwardly, the gown fissling as she held the edges together.

With another one of those small, warm smiles he helped her up on the chair that was now a makeshift medical bed. Then he produced two of the thermal blankets left over from her search of the emergency supplies. 

“Cold?” he asked.

“Mmm.”

She sighed in relief when he arranged the blankets so one covered her from chin to hips, and the other overlapped from her chest over her feet.

“Better?”

She nodded.

“I’m going to run some scans.”

She nodded again, soothed by his matter-of-fact manner.

He reached up and repositioned some of the equipment that had been monitoring Keiko, syncing it to his tricorder, then running a scan over her stomach.

He paused for a second. “So this is a point when I can put you under – if you want – and you won’t have to go through any more of this.”

His eyes moved to hers, calm, and full of understanding. She knew then that he had picked up on more of her distress that she had realized. 

He didn’t pressure her for an answer right away, just busied himself applying a few more hyposprays to her neck. Then his hand settled featherlight on her shoulder as he met her eyes again.

She pursued her lips. “You’d just knock me out and I’d wake up with a baby inside me?”

“Yes.”

“Is that easier for surgery…safer for the baby?”

His hand moved as if to run through his hair, then he caught himself, remembering his surgical scrubs. “Honestly, if you can stay with me it gives me more data points, makes it slightly safer overall. But it’s…it’s a lot, Nerys. It would be easier on you if I put you under.”

“And if I stay conscious?” She didn’t know why she asked, her mind was made up the instant he told her it was safer if she was awake – anything that would give the child the best chance. She supposed it was just that hearing him talking – that familiar Julian style – enthusiasm for the detail, his joy at engaging with others in the topics that clearly fascinated him…she couldn’t believe she had ever thought it irksome. Now it was the most endearing and relaxing thing she could imagine, filling her with a sense of well-being.

“Well,” he pulled up a stool and leaned in. “First I need to stretch your uterus, which I will do by using the transporter to introduce some of this replicated isotonic substrate – your body may not take well to this invasion, I’ll go as slowly as I can, but it will probably be uncomfortable and it may try to expel it through your cervix.”

“Let’s get that started,” Kira blurted out.

Julian straightened with a frown of worry flickering across his features. “You’re sure?”

“Every minute we delay is risking the baby, and Keiko. So if this is a slow thing, let’s go. If it’s too uncomfortable just knock me out.”

Julian regarded her carefully, and then pressed some buttons on the nearest medical machine while checking the screens on the scanner. He reached for another hypospray and applied it gently to her neck. 

Then his eyes moved to her face. “That will help with the pain. Let me know when you feel anything.”

Fighting to control her breathing, Kira concentrated. In her peripheral vision she saw the shimmer of transporter energy from one of the sealed containers. At first there was no sensation, then just a slight twinge she wasn’t sure if she was imagining or not.

“That’s 2.5ccs,” mumbled Julian under his breath, “that’s a good start.”

There was a heaviness then, and more of those twinges now, very low in her abdomen. “Julian?”

He placed his hand where the blanket covered her arm and left it there, a comforting slight weight.

“Does it hurt?”

“More like pressure.”

“Can you take more yet?”

She nodded.

“5 ccs.” He tapped on the PADD.

Kira winced as the heaviness grew and her lower stomach cramped. It felt like the aftermath of old bruising, tender, but not painful as such except when those sharp twinges spiked.

“Let’s try a little more?” He sounded hopeful. Kira nodded.

She worked on keeping her breathing calm as the pressure built. “Are you sure it’s in the right place?” she asked bluntly.

His lips quirked and he pointed to the blurred shapes on the scanner screens. “Yep. That’s definitely a uterus. And it’s gained twenty percent in size, that’s excellent! How are you feeling?”

“It’s really low down,” Kira protested.

Julian smiled and stood up. “Right here is where you are feeling it? He indicated on himself _somewhere_ around his hips, but it was hard to say where in his shapeless surgical outfit.

“There isn’t room for a baby that low down.” Kira frowned.

“It’s okay,” he said soothingly. The uterus moves up as it expands. It only stays low behind your pubic bone until the end of the first trimester.”

“Trimester?”

“Uh, well, that’s a measure of pregnancy duration in Terran terms. It doesn’t translate to the shorter Bajoran gestation period.”

“Do you know much about Bajoran pregnancies?” she blurted out, suddenly realizing his training might have been all or mostly on Terran patients.

He gave her a gentle smile. “Non-Terran exobiology was my specialty, and as soon as I got this assignment I learned everything I could about Bajoran anatomy and physiology. The rest has been hands on for the four years I’ve been here. My infirmary is one of the most coveted residencies for Bajor’s trainee doctors, including obstetricians.”

There wasn’t a trace of rancor in his voice, but Kira felt her cheeks warm anyway. Of course it would turn out he was Bajor’s best doctor—he would probably hold that spot even if her people had had functional medical schools during the occupation. She shook her head at herself and mumbled an apology.

“You’re in good hands,” he murmured softly. 

She met his eyes. They held no chastisement, just warmth. “I know,” she whispered, and managed a sheepish smile.

He beamed back at her, his eyes twinkling, then sat down again and reached for her blanketed arm, but Kira wriggled free from between the blankets and grasped his hand.

“Is it hurting?” he asked, the smile sliding from his face as he gripped her hand in return.

“I can take more. Just keep going.”

He took a deep breath. “Your cervix is my next concern. Can I run some more scans?”

“You don’t need to ask.”

He hit more keys on the scanner then looked back at the tricorder. 

“Your cervix is long and tight, that’s good, but I need it to get to be as firmly closed up as that of a four month along pregnant woman. And I need it there before the substrate in your uterus reaches the point at which your uterus tries to expel the foreign material in there.”

She screwed up her face. 

“I think we’re getting to the anesthetic stage. That will allow me to try the cerclage prep too.”

“The what?”

“Sorry, just a simple few stitches using transporter surgical techniques, not too invasive. It will hold the cervix closed as the pressure builds.”

She grimaced and his eyes flew back to her face. “Getting more uncomfortable?” he asked quietly.

She nodded. It was getting past the point where she could pretend to ignore it.

He lifted her hand again. “So at this point I’m going to initiate the anesthetic.”

The room shifted in her vision and she gripped his hand. “Already? I’m fine, it doesn’t hurt too much.”

A confused look spread across his features. “Kira, I want this to be as easy for you as possible, there’s no point to you being in pain. This way it may be possible for you to stay awake the entire time, if that’s what you decide you want.”

“Oh, you mean…you’re not putting me under?”

“No, no, I’m just talking about numbing you up! Can you turn over for me?”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “But…”

Julian spoke then in Bajoran, which was so disorienting she paused in the middle of trying to turn over without jarring her stomach too much.

“Anaesthetic Anesthetize anesthesiology…technically they mean the same thing, so the universal translator is equating them in Bajoran. I’m talking about blocking the nerves in that part of your body, not putting you under.”

“How the hell did you learn words like that in Bajoran?”

He switched back to Federation standard and dropped her eyes. “I’m always learning Bajoran. You never know when the translator is going to let you down. I need you on your stomach for the next part, a pudendal block requires me to access your spine I’m afraid.”

She blinked and looked at him. “Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, strange place to stop, but the next bit is harder to write and I wanted to get something up before I go back to work for goodness knows how long. Please send up a prayer or good thoughts that my work honors their reduced staffing schedule and I can stop being the person they call in when I'm also the only person with quarantined kids at home! The rest of them are like "oh I'm so bored" and I'm like _are you kidding me? I'm wiped out!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note added warnings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just more fic therapy. I need to finish up my rarepair challenge fic but my muse needed this I guess. A thousand apologies to my recipient of the rarepair challenge, it's coming, I promise!

“Can you turn over?” Julian prompted her gently again. Kira had got as far as placing a hand palm down on the makeshift bio bed, bracing herself to lie on her stomach. She furrowed her brow and exhaled in frustration.

“Nerys?” Julian knelt down so he could be at her eye level. “Placing the nerve block will be easier if you just lie flat. I’ll get it over with as quick as I can.”

She drew in a deep breath, ignoring the rolling in her stomach. “Right.” She was surprised to find her response was breathless, she had meant to sound strong, like it was no big deal to be putting herself into this position alone with an alien man – one who was going to start touching her, undressing her—

Wait. _What?_ Where the hell had that come from? She shook her head, trying to clear it of these clearly irrational thoughts, and forced herself to focus on Julian’s face instead. 

That warm, encouraging smile was back and Kira was relieved to see it. For a moment there he had withdrawn into himself when she expressed surprise that he could speak Bajoran. It had just been a moment really, but she couldn’t figure out why – she would have thought a skill like that would be something he’d be proud off. Her mind, already hopped up on adrenaline, flitted through what she could have said that may have offended him, because it was a lot easier than thinking about what was happening right now.

Had he been upset? Annoyed at her? The thought of making him angry with her was ludicrously upsetting all of a sudden. She blinked rapidly.

“It’s okay,” he offered soothingly. “With the cocktail of hormones I’ve given you all at once, I’m surprised you’re holding it together at all.”

She looked up at him, and it was nearly her undoing. His warm green eyes crinkled at the corners. There was so much kindness in them she felt tears threatening again and she quickly looked away.

“Here, you need some help?” He took her hand, his warm palm sliding over hers. The gentleness in his voice and his touch brought her fears to a crashing halt. His movements were smooth and steady as he helped her into a sitting position. 

“That’s it, go slowly, your uterus is still getting used to the volume in there.”

“How…how long do you need me on my front?” She hated the tremor in her voice. His warm hand curved around her lower back, supporting her as she half curled-up on her side until she was propped up by her arms.

He straightened a little, assessing her position. “I could possibly try it like this – does it hurt your stomach too much to lie prone on it right now?”

Kira swallowed, tempted to lie and say it did. “No, it’s just pressure.”

“Lean forward?”

She tried to comply but her arms were shaking. 

His hand gentled on her lower back, warm and solid. “Thing is, because I’m accessing your spine I need you in a position where you can hold completely still. If I had a nurse here we could even try it sitting up, but as it is you have a lot of drugs in your system right now and it will be easier if you just lie down.”

“Right,” she mumbled, appreciating his matter of fact tone. She tried again to relax enough to drop completely onto her stomach. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and she swallowed painfully, her mouth dry. All she could hear now was her heartbeat thrumming in her ears.

Julian started rearranging some cushions on the chair. “How about this, it will better support your stomach, and make it so your hips are canted back to array your vertebrae, then I can best angle the hypospray – my senior consultant on my ob-gyn residency always said pudendal blocks are _location location location_!”

He grinned, and even though she wasn’t following what he was on about she managed to return his grin. That broke her paralysis and she dropped flat on her stomach, screwing up her eyes against the resulting heavy pain low in her abdomen. Wasn’t 7.5 ccs a ridiculously small amount of liquid? What if her uterus couldn’t hold enough for the baby? What if instead of looking at her like the person who stole their son, she became to the O’Briens the person who was the reason he didn’t survive?

Julian’s warm hand began rubbing slow circles on her lower back, the sensation so intimate it chased her dark thoughts away.

“Good, that’s it.” His cheerful tone dropped lower as he knelt down to her eye level again. “Make sure you can breathe, okay?” He kept his tone light but when he met her eyes she saw he had caught on to her discomfort, even if he had no more idea of the reason for it than she did. She held his gaze, fixing on his face, smooth and so much less alien than a Cardassian. Nor was his manner anything like what she remembered from the occupation. She was safe, she told herself firmly, not only safe from Julian, but safe because of him.

His eyebrows had drawn down in concern. “This won’t take long. I’m going to uncover your lower back now, okay?”

She made a muffled sound of assent. Julian straightened up again out of her line of sight, rearranging her blankets so that only her hips and lower back were exposed. 

At no point did he press her into the bed or try to hold her down. It was stupid to feel vulnerable, but the position was making her heart beat too fast and giving her tunnel vision. Her eyes slammed shut and she shook her head to clear it, trying to do as he said – focus on her breathing.

“Sorry if my hands are cold,” he murmured, gently parting the surgical gown until he found her spine.

His fingers were soft—and warm, confirming her sense that he had only said that as a last warning of his touch. His careful fingertips moved along her spine, mapping out the vertebrae. She buried her face, her fingers tightening around the fabric of the sheets she was lying on.

“This isn’t quite like a regular hypospray, there will be a slight pinch then I need you to stay as still as possible, all right, Nerys?”

Her stomach lurched again and for a terrible moment a wave of nausea threatened. “Okay,” she mumbled, pressing her face further into the sheet.

“Nerys?” His voice was soft, uncertain.

“I’m fine,” she ground out, gritting her teeth. “Do it.”

She felt a scratch from the instrument then a long measured hiss from the hypospray. It took every ounce of self-control she had not to twitch away from his hands on her body. Coldness began to spread out from her spine and a small cry bubbled up in the back of her throat.

“Kira?”

She bit down on her lip, angry at herself for making noise. “Don’t stop.”

He rubbed her lower back absently. “Just another couple of moments, then you won't feel anymore discomfort from your womb.”

“My legs…”

“Yes, I’m sorry a spinal block takes out not just a target area but everything below that too, it’s unavoidable, but you won't be walking around anyway, even after I transfer the baby. If we had a fully functional infirmary we would have had more options to numb you up, but this way is at least fairly foolproof.”

The hiss stopped, and while it hadn’t been loud, the silence in its wake was oppressive. “So my legs won’t work?” Her teeth sunk into her lip to stop it from chattering. “Can I get up now?” she demanded, before he could answer, only dimly aware that the juxtaposition of those two statements was nonsensical.

Her hand had worked its way underneath her chest. It curled into a fist seemingly of its own accord and the pressure against her sternum was reassuringly painful compared to the unnerving absence of sensation from her entire lower half. She pushed her clenched fist into the padding below her, her elbow jutting out at a dangerous angle, and then almost laughed morbidly at her body’s automatic responses – what did she think she was going to do? Spring up and jam her elbow in his throat when her legs were quickly becoming leaden, useless lumps of flesh?

“Just give it another moment or two, if you can.” His voice was very soft as he disposed of the hypospray. She felt pressure as he taped some kind of gauze to her lower back and her throat closed up at the slight force he used to smooth down the tape.

“Almost there,” he whispered. His hand came to rest, warm and heavy, holding her down. Her mouth went dry again and her heart lurched in her chest. _No,_ she schooled herself firmly, _he is not holding you down._

His other hand moved to her shoulder and she stopped breathing, instinctively fearing that he was going to leverage his dual grip on her to push her into the bedding, climb on top of her and…and it was all she could do not to just jump up and drop kick him clear to the other side of the runabout.

He did neither. His hand on his shoulder just rested there, a soft presence just like the gentle fingertips along her lower spine. There was a crawling under her skin and her fingertips twitched, her nails scratching against the sheet.

“This position is difficult for you.” It was just a statement, not censure. “Not much longer now, I promise.” He was still calm, maddeningly calm, as if he had no sense of the danger he was in. Didn’t he know she could hurt him? Could punch those kind, soft-spoken words right out of his mouth. Her vision sparked red at the edges and she crammed the heel of the hand into her mouth to keep from screaming.

She was clearly losing it. In a last ditch effort to keep control, Kira turned her head to the side and looked for Keiko. She could just make out the outline of her stomach, but it was enough to calm her racing heart slightly. Drawing a breath, she exhaled slowly.

“Keiko,” she blurted. “You haven’t checked on her and the baby in a while.”

His hands stilled. She braced herself for an argument that Keiko and the baby had so many monitors on them something would alarm if there was any change. 

“Will you be okay if I leave you alone for a moment to check on them?” he murmured.

She nodded quickly.

“Okay, try to stay as still as you can.” His hands left her and he made a sibilant click noise, like the kind she had heard Bajoran parents use to soothe their babies lest their cries bother the Cardassian guards. Or the nurses on the station, did they use it too? She vaguely remembered one of them at least, the Bajoran, Nurse Jabara, would make that sound absently when she was dealing with a difficult patient. Kira let her mind drift along any lines it wanted as long as she wasn’t giving into this irrational fear that swept over her for no reason at all.

Julian moved away. Kira let her eyes close for a moment, concentrating on breathing. Her hands pressed against the bedding, fingertips itching again.

“They are fine, all readings steady, we have some time still.” Julian’s voice floated down to her, calm, reassuring. He was walking slowly back in her direction and had switched into unerringly fluent Bajoran again. She felt something catch in her throat. 

His footsteps neared, and then stopped. “Breathe, Nerys, then let it out. Slowly. All the way. That’s it, good.”

His tone was so nurturing she half-expected that sentence to end on a ‘ _good girl_ ’ and she choked back a sudden half-laugh, half-sob.

“Ready to turn back over?”

Something untwisted a little in her chest. _“Yes.”_

It turned out to be easier said than done, with her lower half no longer fully cooperating with the directions from her brain. She got as far as pushing herself up on her side, then paused, almost light headed with relief at no longer being prone on the bed. She cast a sheepish glance up at Julian.

“May I?” He spoke again in Bajoran, making goosebumps rise on her arms. She nodded as he carefully slipped an arm under her knees, another under her shoulders, and half guided, half carried her until she was lying on her back. It was incredible how easily he lifted her when she felt like her legs alone were made of rock. She concentrated on the crinkle of his surgical garb against her cheek, the warmth of his chest seeping through the thin material as she surreptitiously leaned into him, the glimpse she got of Keiko so pale under the monitors – anything to distract herself from how panicky it made her to not have full control of her own body.

He settled her back on the pillows, plumping them up and adjusting the chair so she was reclining, but not as flat on her back as she had been before. Kira watched him, still trying to catch her breath as he fussed around her. His eyes were dark and full of…something that looked like guilt? She felt much better now as she looked around the Runabout interior, catching her breath and reorienting herself. She caught Julian’s gaze and experienced a stab of chagrin that she had put him through that.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he smoothed her hair back from her forehead. 

She frowned in confusion. “Why?”

“Just…I-I wish I could give you something to help.”

“The pain is gone now.”

“No, I mean,” he paused and switched back to Federation Standard, “for anxiety. But as with our limited options for anaesthesia, medkits only carry the basics of triage drugs – so I only have valium, which could harm the baby. There are other anxiolytics that are safe during pregnancy, but valium is not one of them.”

He patted her forearm so tentatively she reached out to cover his hand with her own. “This is the last sort of thing you should be thinking about. The baby is what matters, and Keiko.”

“Getting your uterus ready takes time, Nerys. So far Keiko and the baby are holding up well.”

“No sign that the distress call made it through?”

He shook his head. “There’s nothing, no.” He looked regretful about that to. 

Kira rushed on. “Then we’re on our own. You can’t slow this down on my account, doctor.” She drew a breath, preparing herself to try to take charge.

He held up his free hand and the fight drained out of her, leaving her strangely exhausted, and even more strangely, slightly tearful again. She blinked, unused to the effects of the hormones pulling her from one emotional extreme to another apparently on a whim.

“I’m not, Nerys.” He folded her hand between both of his. “The longer we can take to prepare your body the less chance of rejection.”

_Rejection._

She swallowed and closed her eyes, trying not to let her mind go to dark places again. Summoning the last vestiges of command into her tone, she managed, “let’s keep going.” 

He was studying her when she opened her eyes again. “Okay,” he said softly, giving her arm a soft squeeze.

She watched him work as he beamed more of the substrate into her uterus. 

“Uncomfortable?”

“Can’t feel anything.” She gave him another encouraging smile as he let out a breath.

“All right, let’s give it a minute and we’ll try some more.” He pored over the readouts on the monitors. “Looks like your hormone levels are rising too, that’s good. Cervix looks fine.” He sat down beside her and just looked at her for a moment, his eyebrows drawing together. “Doing okay?”

“Much better.” She held out her hand tentatively again, and gave him a sheepish smile when he took it in his. At the look in his eyes, she braced herself. “What?”

“Assuming all goes well, we need to talk about when we get back to the station. I will go straight into surgery with Keiko and won't have much time to brief my team – so it’s important we talk about a couple of things until I get out of surgery.”

“Keiko will be all right?” The normalcy of his doctor-lecture-mode was soothing, but her chest tightened when she thought about Keiko. 

He squeezed her hand, and she returned it. “Without the stress of the pregnancy, yes, once I get her into surgery and I can repair the damage and she’ll be fine, and back to normal within a week or so.”

Kira knew it would take Keiko much longer than that to come to terms with this, but she didn’t interrupt him. Something was shifting from their usual dynamic – the balance of who was in charge was tilting as she ceded more and more control to him. Under normal circumstances he deferred to her as his superior officer, and even socially she had come to think of him as a beloved (if sometimes daft) younger brother. But now, seeing him in full doctor mode with lives on the line, she could remember he actually had a couple of years on her, and was more than capable of taking charge.

“But for you, Nerys, I’ll need you to move as little as possible the first 24 hours at least, and to stay lying down. Avoid anything that might raise your blood pressure. I will make sure you are undisturbed until I get out of surgery with Keiko.”

“Blood pressure?” she echoed.

“It’s a little high.” His gaze flicked to the readings. “It’s coming down again though. But I want to keep an eye on it.” His lips quirked as he looked back at her again. “I’ll try not to drive you nuts.” 

She smiled at him. Already her fears from earlier seemed light years away, and utterly insane. It was just Julian. 

She watched as he fiddled about with the monitors and transported more substrate, feeling fairly useless when all she could do was report that she didn’t feel anything, but he seemed satisfied, and patted her arm again as he applied more hyposprays. 

He took his place back at her side. “Just going to give it a few more minutes before the next step, okay?”

She nodded.

“Do you mind if I check out how things look?”

“I don’t mind.” She didn’t really understand what he meant until he began slowly peeling back the blanket and gown, exposing her midriff, his eyes flicking to hers several times to check she was okay.

“Look.” His voice had gone quiet. She followed his gaze, forgetting to breathe when she saw a small but unmistakable swelling in her lower abdomen. Her breath caught in her throat at just how…well, _weird_ it looked. She passed her hand over it tentatively.

“We’re getting closer to making space for Baby O’Brien,” he remarked quietly, and they shared a smile. The awe she felt was reflected in his voice.

He reached for her absently, his fingertips stopping just shy of her forearm. She threaded their fingers together, hoping to reassure him that his touch was welcome. For now it was all she could manage. She had just nearly lost it, and why? For something as simple as lying on her stomach? Much as she had done her best to hide her nerves, she hated to think she might have delayed anything.

“Julian?” 

He sat down at her side again, his free hand drawing the blanket back around her.

“Feeling all right?” he asked, his eyes on hers.

“What you said about blood pressure…I want you to promise me something. If it ever becomes safer for the baby to just knock me out then do it, don’t ask, just do it.”  
  
He exhaled slowly. “Nery-“

She cut him off. “Doctor.“ Her fingers tightened on his, and she pressed her lips into a thin line just as her bottom lip started to tremble.

His eyes searched her face. “I will always tell you before I do something like that, but yes, I will honor your request.”

She gave him a lop-sided smile as her shoulders dropped in relief. “Thank you.” 

His long fingers wrapped warmly around hers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been *months* and for that I am truly sorry. I'm sick at the moment and yet weirdly had time to write tonight, although I'm not in a position to take sick leave, and I'm honestly not sick enough to need it yet. So forgive me if this is rough. (As I always do, I'll wake in the morning, re-read this, cringe in shame at having posted something so riddled with problems, an rewrite the whole chapter!)

The discordant beeps from all the monitors merged with the incessant drone of the stasis field, fraying Kira’s nerves as Bashir flitted about the Volga’s cramped space. She was trying to think about anything other than the pressure in her abdomen but the heaviness seemed to increase with every passing second and it felt like she had been lying here for an eternity.

She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, then dropped them guilty when Julian’s gentle voice cut across her thoughts.

“We’re almost there, I promise.”

She nodded dumbly.

“I need you to tell me if you feel any discomfort. We are getting close to the volume we need, but I need to make sure we don’t risk uterine rupture. Would it be okay if I palpate your uterus?”

The alarm must have shown on her face, because Julian backed up immediately. “I just mean feel around a little…uh, is what _palpate_ means.” He held up his hands, his face contorting even as the words came out of his mouth.

Kira bit back the profanity-laden instinctive response telling Bashir exactly what she thought of the idea of him touching her stomach. “It’s fine, yes,” she managed instead. She tried to sound convincing, but Julian turned back to the monitors, seemingly thinking better of coming near her.

She watched him. If you had asked her this morning if she would have been okay with Julian Bashir running his hands all over such intimate parts of her body she wouldn’t have been ashamed at her gut response, but now she was second-guessing herself and worrying if her failure to hide her reluctance was risking a baby’s life.

He turned back to her and she sucked in a breath, but he made no move to come closer. “How about we try something else?”

She breathed out. He was perceptive, she would give him that.

He met her eyes with a small, chagrined smile. “Can you move around at all?”

She frowned in concentration. “My legs still don’t work.”

“I know. But can you sit up a little? I just want to see if the uterus can handle a change in position.”

She struggled, eventually giving up and reaching for his hand when he tentatively held it out to her. His grip was strong but her muscles felt like jelly. Slowly, he moved his other hand around her shoulders.

“Is this okay?” he asked quietly.

She nodded her assent and mumbled her thanks, embarrassed by her own awkwardness.

“There now,” he breathed, his calm, matter of fact tone suggesting nothing was miss as he helped her tilt forward, his hand warm and gentle on her back. “How does that feel?”

She shrugged, unable to concentrate on anything but the foreign sensation of his arm around her and how strange it was to be this close to him. _Alien,_ her mind provided unhelpfully.

“Kira?”

“Fine? I’m fine.” She swallowed hard, suppressing a shudder, only able to breathe again when he lowered her gently back into the pillows and stepped back from her. She couldn’t look at him for a moment, an irrational fear seizing her that he could see into her thoughts and he would know the extent of her xenophobia even after living alongside them all this time. Or would he understand that four years couldn’t make up for a lifetime of occupation?

She shook her head at herself. No, these Federation types clung so tightly to the notion of accepting other races, of everyone being sympatico with each other. Julian even had lunch with a Cardassian all the time—he couldn’t begin to understand; nor could she begin to explain when he was about to beam an alien child _inside_ her.

She risked looking up at him. He was watching the blood pressure monitor, his brow furrowed. Guilt gnawed at her and she dug her fingernails into her palm. She was being ridiculous, and it was a luxury that tiny, innocent baby couldn’t afford.

She felt his eyes on her again as he rocked back on his heels. Carefully keeping her features neutral, Kira willed herself to keep her emotions in check.

“Are you cold?” he asked suddenly. He produced another blanket, draping it over her carefully. She sighed, it did feel better.

“Julian? This hormone thing…”

“Mm hmm? Go on?” he prompted, sounding a little relieved that she was engaging with him.

“How long does it…” She stole another glance at him. “You’re going to say the whole pregnancy, aren’t you.”

He moved his hand to the back of his head, fiddling with the collar of his scrubs. “Actually, it’s not so much the high levels, it’s the swift transition. So it won’t always be what you are going through right now.” He tried for another smile, this one tinged with apology, and tilted his head. “After you deliver Baby O’Brien, the hormone crash will be almost as severe. But by then I’ll have researched this thoroughly, we will have more resources available, and I can help you through it.” 

The kindness in his eyes was so sincere Kira had to look away.

“I have had a thought about that though…” The genuine enthusiasm was back in his explanation and Kira was glad of it. She let his familiar tones soothe her ragged emotions. 

“…I can synthesize oxytocin, it is another hormone, but it won’t ravage your prostaglandin levels, it will actually help take the edge off what you’re feeling – and it’s naturally higher in pregnancy anyway, so it’s the lowest risk way I can think of to possibly lower your blood pressure.”

Kira bit her lip, swallowing down another colorful Bajoran profanity. Her blood pressure; she was screwing this up, and her mounting anger at herself for losing control was only making things worse.

“Do it.”

He looked like he was going to continue explaining but she cut him off. “This oxy-whatever.”

Without another word he went to the replicator and returned in no time, a hypospray in his hand. He hesitated, but Kira took it out of his grasp and pressed it to her throat herself. Raising an eyebrow and opening his mouth, Julian closed it again when she gave him a look.

At Julian’s gentle suggestion, Kira had closed her eyes and rested for a while to let the new hormone kick in. She had no idea how much time had passed, but every time she issued an anxious inquiry if this was taking too long and didn’t he want to transfer the baby already, Julian was always right there, softly assuring her they were right on track. 

Somewhere along the way she had gone from wanting to punch his stupid face to wanting to ask him to hold her so she could just cry—everything would feel better if she could cry—and then, slowly, everything just became more subdued and she was floating, just drifting.

Then she was smiling and she had no idea why, but as her hand soothed over her stomach she realized -- she was inordinately proud of her little bump. She couldn’t keep her hand from straying to touch it even though she couldn’t feel anything in her midriff at all. In some ways everything was starting to dissociate, as if it was all happening to someone else, but when her palm cupped the strange curve of her stomach it grounded her. 

“Feeling better?”

She looked up to see Julian’s eyes sparkle as he watched her hand caress the bump again. He had been at her side, watching the blood pressure numbers drop, and she could feel some of his tension dissipate. At the same time there was a giddiness running through her, as if she was connected to him, linked by monitors and their melodic beeping.

She laughed, and the sound echoed back to her as if it was someone else. ”It’s almost like we’re proud of making a baby that’s nothing but…what did you call it? Substrate!”

“Ah, but it’s making a home for very real baby.” He waggled his eyebrows happily. “Ready to make the bump a little bigger?”

She nodded, holding still as the now familiar shimmer of transporter technology increased the tautness of her stomach.

“Breathe,” he murmured, his eyes moving between her face and the instruments. “How do you feel?”

She caressed the bump again with a smile. “Silly.” Lightheaded, she fell back on the pillows and she gave a low hum.

“Kira?”

She opened her eyes but couldn’t quite focus on his face. “If we’re going to have a baby together you should probably call me Nerys. You do sometimes.”

“Nerys.” She could hear the smile in his voice as she closed her eyes again.

He leaned over her, shining a light briefly in each eye. “Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

“I might have to retract my offer _not_ to drive you nuts if your blood pressure keeps dropping.”

“Dropping is good! Right?”

“Well, high is bad. It’s stabilizing. Let’s get you more hydrated, than we’re pretty much ready to transfer.” He produced a bottle of Starfleet emergency rations mineral water from somewhere and stood over her sternly until she held it up to her lips.

She blinked back to awareness as she drank the water, his words slowly sinking into her mind. “We’re ready?”

“I’ll need your help.” His hand found hers and carefully turned it over, cradling her hand in his longer fingers. “You see this button?” 

She only then registered he had placed the remote control unit from his tricorder into her palm. She screwed up her features for a moment. “You need my help to transfer the baby?”

“Yes.”

A distant part of her mind whispered that given he had been planning to do this procedure with her unconscious he didn’t really need her help, and this was most likely some ploy to help her stay calm by giving her control, or making her feel useful. 

Her hand closed around the cool metal. If it was just a ploy it was working. She smiled up at him fondly.

He blinked. “So, right after the transfer if you can help me with this, I can more closely monitor Keiko and possibly increase the stasis field depending on if her blood loss worsens once the baby is out. But at the same I need to make sure the baby is stable.” His tone softened and his hand closed over hers. She realized belatedly her face must have betrayed her concern at his words.

“It’s okay, the umbilical cord to the placenta will supply the baby what he needs while I surgically help your uterus to vascularize around him. Ideally he would have his own specialist medical team dedicated to this, but I need to stabilize Keiko right after the baby, I can’t monitor him at the same time.”

“Tell me what to do.”

“See this screen? I just need you to keep an eye on his vitals for me – right now they are subdued by the partial stasis, and they’ll drop with the shock of the transfer, but if his heart rate dips below here,” he paused to indicate a line, “or his blood oxygen level falls below here, then I need you to tell me. Or better yet, just read me the numbers while I am working on Keiko.”

Her grip tightened on the tricorder remote. “Julian, what if…what if the placenta and everything…what if it doesn’t work? And is he even going to fit in there with all the…” she indicated her stomach.

“The transfer protocol will beam the substrate fluid away a split second before the baby is transported. The substrate right now is in a synthetic amniotic sac, that will hold the baby in his own amniotic fluid even if his own amniotic sac ruptures.”

“If it _ruptures_?”

“To be honest, that’s possibly inevitable. He will need a synthetic membrane that’s stronger to survive the differences in how Bajorans gestate – vascularization is a drastic difference from how Terrans carry their young, and it’s our best hope for getting the placenta to integrate with an entirely new uterus. It actually gets around some of the problems we would have if you were Terran.”

Kira could feel her heart drop the more Julian explained. This whole concept just seemed so tenuous, she was beginning to appreciate the effort it must be taking him to maintain such a calm and confident demeanor. Now that he was so close she could see in his eyes that he really wasn’t confident at all.

“Scared?” she asked him, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded silently, his gaze holding hers.

“Okay,” she said softly and squeezed his hand, watching his shoulders drop in relief. “We’ll give this baby the best chance we can.”

“Yes, we will,” he murmured in response. Things shifted between them as he regarded her. He no longer seemed to be trying to put on a brave face for her.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“To be pregnant?” She tried for a shaky laugh then gave up. If he was going to drop his façade then she could too. “Not remotely. Let’s do this.”

She held up the tricorder control unit and met his eyes.

He held her gaze steadily, then nodded, moving both his hands to cover hers. 

She pressed the button.

**Author's Note:**

> A million grateful thank yous to people commenting, I re-read every one.


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